Jun 24 2008
A State of Misery…
Residents of Missouri undoubtedly grasp the turbulent affects of rising floodwaters as our very own Meramec River has reached daunting crests throughout the years. While concerned communities remain powerless to the notion of critical disaster plans and levee expectancies… during these heartrending times of adversity, imminent misfortune, and the unpredictability of our nature environment… Missourians launch a buoyancy of strength, mastering a commendable art of togetherness.
During such moments, uncontrollably or perhaps unintentionally, you find a circle within the square of thought… and shed an air of humor to the mass of waterfall.
An Interview with Mr. Dudge..
(A lighthearted tribute to the severity of cause… keep that in mind!)
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, we’re broadcasting live from SSDD channel 13 with the latest in breaking news coverage… I’m standing near the intersection of 141 & 44, where crest forecasts threaten the area, and roadways are virtually inaccessible. Directly behind me, MoDOT continues the placement of concrete barriers and sandbags along eastbound lanes, in dire effort of maintaining the highway for as long as possible. The Missouri State Highway Patrol strongly recommends motorists curtail travel, and plan accordingly until further work on interstate 44 is complete… but as you can see the congestion of traffic between Fenton and Valley Park has not dispersed, as floodwaters of the Meramec River approach near historic levels.
People from all walks of life surround the viewing area in an air of humility while trying to capture this remarkable moment in time, and with a new $49 million dollar levee, one can only pray this town will endure the heartache of this natural adversity.
(Hello sir, what’s your name?)
“Well… round these parts, they call me Cornelius Dudge.”
(Mr. Dudge, tell me… have you been directly affected by the flood of 2008, and do you believe the levee will withstand the force of imminent rising waters?)
“I got me a boat, even though my wife said I was a dumbSh@*! But I’m supposin’ the levee will hold… think all we can do is wait.”
(Sir, where is your wife today?)
“Whelp… we was boatin’ down the waterway, she started cursing a fierce word and telling me not to get her new shoes wet … so I did what I thought was best.”
(And what’s that Mr. Dudge?)
“Whelp…” He says, scratching his temple. His expression is nearly quizzical. “I did as they do on TV, I suppose. I got me some of that there plastic and wrapped her up real snug-like, then tied some sandbags around her waist… hoping it’d protect her like it does the highways… then left her big ass floatin’ in the water, cuz she ain’t wanted to be on the television with no wet shoes.”
You heard it here first ladies and gentlemen… I’m Sedgwick Slipperies with SSDD news channel 13, reporting live coverage on the flood of 2008. Back to you Tom…
S. A. Harris
This is just hysterical! Makes you laugh out loud. TOO FUNNY!!!